Well hello again! Haven’t been here in a while. I am now 24. How time flies. Recently, this blog has come back to my mind as I am now at a cross road in my life. As I have finished my spring semester at a community college passing only one class! (Horrible I know!) I have been thinking about what my step will be along with that I have been questioning myself in what I am passionate about.
As I meditate about what I want to do I know that right now working is not an option for me considering that my anxiety does not let me work. And thank God that my husband has a job.
I also come to think about my spiritual life, as I am consumed by this world (school and house life). Grandma had the tv on and I could hear a preaching from Enlace (a Christian tv programming in Spanish) as I was in the kitchen i could feel it calling me in. Where has my spiritual life gone? Who am I believing? Where has my faith gone? As I was thinking this I could hear the preacher saying the devil will tell you lies and remind you of your past but you have to remember that God has set you free.
Oh, this stronghold! I seem to forget at times what God has done for me. I know he has set me free and that I should let go. But what happens when this is all you know (feeling the fear). But, I need to remember and enjoy each day that God has given me. Let me be a blessing to other people and also and most importnantly to do what I was set to do here in earth because God has given us purpose and we are here to serve.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34 NIV
Till next time!
My name is Karla. I am 23 years old and I live in Dallas. I will be talking about my whole experience of dealing with my anxiety. I have had anxiety I feel my whole life. The first ever panic attack was when I was 5 years old, my uncle had recently died and my parents told me that he forgot how to breathe! Worst thing ever to tell a child!!!! So all these years that has followed me in the back of my head! (NOT GOOD) Before I was 8 I was implanted some crowns on my teeth and something happened and they couldn’t stop the bleeding from my tooth and I remember that I went to several places including hospitals and no one could help me! Ahh! I remember that I would fill up bath towels of blood. But thank God the pastors from the church we were going to schedule an appointment with their dentist. So the point of that mini story was that after all that happened to me I was scared to swallow my own saliva because I though it was blood. But my mom sat me down and told me it wasn’t blood but saliva. Oh My! Why was I afraid! Then as time passed I was afraid of the dark and afraid to sleep alone in my room. Then that too passed! Thank God! Then during my early teenage years I had this urge to pee! I was afraid that I wasn’t able to find a restroom. And that too passed! As I write this I think why was I so afraid!!! Then when I was 16 I got pregnant! No Bueno! Got married shortly after with a wonderful man that has stuck with me all this time!!! My son was born when I was 17! That time was very difficult for me as I did not ask for help because I was afraid and disappointed in myself I felt I took the whole load. Take 3 years of that and one day as I was working and going to school. I was driving to work early in the morning and BOOM! I have a nervous breakdown! Felt afraid that something bad was going to happen to me and that no one will help me! The worst! And since then I was been in my battle. It started with that back in 2012 and now present day 2015 I am still in that battle. I have fear of being alone. But I feel that all comes down to forgetting how to breath. I know I will never forget how to breath but the devil tries to put negative thought to my head! As a matter of fact today 6/19/2015 the devil had me entrapped in my head the thought that I wasn’t able to breath till my husband got home! NEGATIVE THOUGHT! I was able to breath through that thought! Devil trying to destroy me! But I know GOD is fighting my battle! And I know I that God will never leave me! I know that when I am afraid God is with me! And my anxiety is so out of control! And now as I wrap this thing up its getting dark the devil is trying to put thoughts in my head that I won’t be able to be ok during the darkness but I know that we need the night to rest and that the sun will appear on the other side of the planet and that animals need night to like us. I even feel crazy writing this! But I know like all things this will pass too because my trust and faith is in him and I shall not fear…. to be continued!
1 Peter 5:7
7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.